Tuesday, August 28, 2012

summer is almost over

The heat is calming down, which has been soooo nice.  We had a crazy awesome week with funny stuff, and I still love being a missionary.  Sister Oliphant and I had to get a flu shot at our mission conference.  They make us do it.  She doesnt like needles.  She cried.  Y'know what Ive learned a lot more about on my mission??  Drugs.  Im becoming a drug professional.  Okay, not really, but we hear about them a LOT.  And they're like no big deal here, because everyone does them.  Drugs are causing so much damage to these people down here, I now have a better perspective on why they're so dumb to do.
We have one investigator named Joanna who is in a wheelchair because she weighs 600 pounds.  She cant really do much because her stomach is so big it hits her knees when she walks, so she's considered handicapped.  Anyway, we went to visit her the other day, and when we walked in we were blasted by the smell of urine.  She'd had an accident on the floor, and she was lying in her bed without clothes on under just a sheet.  There were a few times when we were talking with her that she twisted a bit too much and the sheet slipped off of her and we saw way more than we ever cared to see, but the poor lady must have just given up on having any dignity in herself because of her situation.  Its so sad to see people who live like that.  She doesnt really listen when we come over to teach, shes always asking us to clean something for her or take out her garbage full of diapers.  Joanna DOES have caregivers who come in everyday and help her, not sure why she wants us to help her too.  We will probably stop going by because her heart isn't in it.

 On the other hand, we added a new investigator last week, Kathy, who is a Wiccan!  She's really sweet and no, she doesn't call herself a "witch."  I'm very curious what the Wicca religion really believes, but it's apparently a very peaceful, loving culture and people really love it.  Kathy has already read like 20 pages from the book of mormon and she says she has a lot of questions for us.  We teach her again tomorrow, so it should be fun!!  

 Here in California, they have these terrible metal screen doors that you cant see though. They have itty bitty holes in the metal, but I hate it when someone opens the wood door but NOT the metal one because you don't know where to look!  You dont even know if they're really there because you cant see them.   Anyway, we just stand and present ourselves and try to not be awkward.  So the other day, sister Oliphant and I were at a door asking for a specific man who had met with missionaries before.  The lady opened up her screen door and we could see her figure vaguely, but not clearly.  She told us that the man wasnt home so we thanked her.  Then, out of the middle of nowhere, Sister Oliphant asks her "Are you a painter?"  I was so confused.  I looked at her, then at the lady, who replied "uhhh...no?" I tried to understand where sister Oliphant got that question and I asked her "does it smell like paint?"  She got really awkward and just said "no."  Then she looked up at the ceiling of their front porch at something and it was soo weird.  The poor lady was just bothered at us and all three of us kind of stood there for a second in confusion.  Then sister Oliphant explained "Well, isnt that a paintbrush in your hand?"  "No, this is a shishkabob skewer."  Stupid screen doors.  Sister O just said "oh, I thought you were holding a paintbrush.  Well, you have a good day!"  And we left.   hahaha.  We laughed our heads off when we got in the car and now I randomly ask sister Oliphant if she's a painter.  She's getting better at talking to people, but its still awkward for her at times.  It makes me realize how far I've really come on my mission, I remember all those awkward conversations I tried to start and all the times I didn't know what to do.  

 I had a spout of Sadness yesterday that lasted for a few hours.  I will explain: Lani went to to the Deaf branch on Sunday to give a talk up there, so I didnt have to interpret for Relief Society.  We had 5 people tell us they would be at church yesterday, but Dan was the only one to actually come.  So, we sit in the back of the Relief Society room, and for once, I could just sit there and enjoy the lesson.  I was very relieved that there was no stress of worrying about false doctrine being taught to my investigators or if they had friends, but I was also sad that they didn't make it.
We decided to sit near the back, which I havent done in a long long time, near a new lady.  Bad decision.  I remembered why I dont like sitting in the back row of church.  There were women in the back chatting and laughing in the middle of the lesson.  I couldn't focus!  Now, I can't judge those women, because there have been many weeks when I used to do that myself.  But I kind of became overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness.  I was sad my investigators didn't come.  I was sad that they women in the back weren't listening to a really good lesson.  I was sad as I looked around the room and half of them haven't made it through the temple yet.  I came home from church and my heart hurt.  A slight pain in my chest, for these people who I care about so much.

 I look forward to having Sundays when I don't have to be so worried about interpreting or false doctrine or everyone feeling welcomed.  I think when we're at church each week at home, we take advantage of what a wonderful opportunity it is to go and be overwhelmed by the spirit and personal revelation.  Sundays are a time when we can bask in the presence of the holy ghost.  I am reminded of two scriptures I read a month ago.  Ecclesiastes 1:18 "For in much wisdom, is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."  Ecclesiastes 7:3 "Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better."  Sometimes when we love people so much, they hurt us more than if we didn't love them at all.  But I believe this to be a good thing, a Christlike thing.  I love being a missionary, it just definitely has its ups and downs.  Sister Oliphant is doing well, and I can see how much different I have become here in the past year.  

 I love all of you!

 Sister Wilson

1 comment:

  1. Question: Is the address listed on the side the current one I should send letters to? I just wasn't sure if that had changed, or if that is where we should send them for the full mish. It's been awhile, and I owe this girl bigtime.